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Should I stay or Should I GO....

Updated: Feb 5

Inspired by an email I received titled, "What Should I Do?"


There is no simple answer to this question, nor is there a one size fit all solution. If you know my story you know that cheating was a deal breaker for me until it happened in my marriage. Discovery day is what I consider my invisible tattoo. Years later (even after doing the healing work), I remember the moment I discovered infidelity in my marriage and the many emotions that I experience all at once. Do I stay or do I go is the infamous question that I struggled with as well as many other women that I have worked with.

Until death do us part… what does that really mean and does that include infidelity??? Remember this is a non-judgmental zone but my irrational thoughts in that moment was how about I just kill him? I know…I know…murder charges and jail time is not really a thing…. but is this really happening.

So, should I stay, or should I go? SPOILER ALERT: I am not going to give you a direct answer, just my perspective! Here is what I would say…

  • Breathe.

  • Calm down.

  • Don’t make a decision in the moment.

  • Give yourself space and time to work through your emotions.

  • Take as much time as needed; do not rush a decision!

  • Find support from friends and family that are not bias and only want the best for you.

  • Connect with a professional therapist. Support groups are awesome as well.

  • Ask yourself hard questions—How will a divorce impact my life? What will it mean for me and my family and children (if applicable)?

  • Is reconciliation a realistic option (please note that trusting again and honest difficult conversations are the hardest parts of reconciliation)

  • Is my partner in this with me?

  • What will fighting for my marriage cost me (from an overall well-being perspective)?

Should I stay or should I go? The truth is only you can answer this question. Every marriage is different, and every situation is different. You must truly look within and do what is best for YOU! Trust your gut and trust the process. Join our monthly support circle if you want to talk it out. I am sendng love and light and please know that I care!

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