Updated: Feb 5
Rumbling with anger, shock, denial, and a million questions
Discovery day is like no other day!!! It is a moment that most of us could never imagine and never expected that it could happen to us. We didn't plan for this day. We couldn't predict this day; however, it is a day that we will never ever be able to forget (although we would like to). Many of us still have scars and work extremely hard to work through the triggers resulting from discovery day.
It is the part of the marriage where you lose trust, and you experience many emotions all at once. This heartbreak is different and if you are not careful it can be debilitating. This moment will shake the core of who you are, and you will have a million questions that will go unanswered. Many describes discovery as, " the worst feeling I have ever experienced."
WHY ME? The truth is... you did not do anything to deserve this. Against popular opinion, a fool that plays with your feelings and mishandles your heart has issues of their own. I know, the excuses sound a little like this....
You stopped giving me attention.
I could not communicate with you.
I was lonely.
It just happened.
It is not a big deal (my personal favorite)
and many more!
WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? Nothing! You didn't do anything. I can NOT stress this enough! Here is what you deserved... A conversation expressing ways to improve your marriage or at the very least a conversation expressing that a divorce may be on the table. Lies, cheating, deceit.... you did not deserve that!
WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. You are enough. Comparison, self -blame and self-doubt is never a fair game when it comes to infidelity.
WHAT NOW? The best thing you can do in this moment is allow yourself to feel. Spend time getting out of your head by journaling and know that this is a really tough hard moment, but this moment will not last forever (although it feels like it).
Infidelity isn't fair. As you move through this difficult time know that you did not deserve this. You are ENOUGH and you simply have to get through this, and I know you will!